Ruined Rockstars: Paperback Edition
Exciting news! The entire Ruined Rockstars series is now available on paperback!
Exciting news! The entire Ruined Rockstars series is now available on paperback!
It’s taken me nearly a year to get my shit together and make this happen because it was important to me that the paperbacks not just be your standard interiors. I wanted them to be unique and feel special. I’m the kind of reader who only collects my most favorite books on paperback, and when I do, I want them to look just as pretty inside as they do outside.
For me, that meant learning an entirely new design and formatting program in between writing books this year (and changing the covers a thousand times, too). I finally buckled down a couple of weeks ago and really dove into learning InDesign and getting these books formatted.
Then, I had to create the covers and upload everything to Amazon (and wait for them to review and approve each and every title). As of a couple of days ago, every book in that series, as well as Captive and Chased, are available in paperback for the first time ever.
Crossed Souls has been submitted as well but is still waiting to be approved, but that should happen in the next day or two, so keep your eyes peeled for that. Scroll down for a sneak peek of some interior details from Vicious Icon:
Vicious Icon interior spread
Vicious Icon interior spread
You can check out the entire collection here:
Makeover
As you may or may not know (depending on when you came across my writing), I’ve never been crazy about ANY of the versions of the Shadow Phoenix covers. None of them really screamed “ROCK STAR” at me the way I wanted, but I had no idea how to make that happen.
As you may or may not know (depending on when you came across my writing), I’ve never been crazy about ANY of the versions of the Shadow Phoenix covers. None of them really screamed “ROCK STAR” at me the way I wanted, but I had no idea how to make that happen.
Well, I need to overhaul the series for paperback now that I’ve figured out InDesign and how to make the insides pretty (I’m lookin’ at you, Captive) and since I need to put in the work to re-do the insides, I figured I might as well go balls out and just have them all re-edited (to make sure any of the stuff I missed the first time around has a whole new set of eyes on them to find things like the embarrassing way I used “symbols” when I really meant “cymbals”).
But then my husband says, “Do you think we should re-cover them, too?” and I was so not thinking about the covers, but then I looked at them and got this sort of splinter in my brain like I HAVE TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL WRONG (yes, I yelled it at myself).
So… I spent an entire day re-doing the covers, and honestly they’re my favorite of all the covers so far. I liked the black background ones, but again, they just didn’t give off the vibe I wanted. This new set totally does, and I’m really happy with them. I can’t promise I won’t put new covers on them again, but considering I’m going to be going through the process of turning them all into beautifully edited and designed paperbacks, it’s not happening again for a LONG while.
Besides, I have other stuff to spend my time working on like writing Chased or Crossed Souls (and also, I have like 4 other books plotted out loosely in my mind right now, too, as part of other series’). SO, if you were wondering why the covers suddenly look different on the website or on Amazon, the reason is I needed more rock star (said in my best Christopher Walken cowbell voice).
If you haven’t seen ‘em yet, take a peek:
What do you think of the new covers? You can check them all out over on the books page. Leave me a comment and let me know which covers are your favorite.
Bonus Content
I’ve been keeping a list of scenes and chapters and novella ideas that I can expand on from the Shadow Phoenix series book just for fun, but I’m torn on what to write first. There are so many possibilities. Here are some ideas I’ve had for scenes that would be fun to write and share with you. Let me know in the comments what you’d like to see first.
I’ve been keeping a list of scenes and chapters and novella ideas that I can expand on from the Shadow Phoenix series book just for fun, but I’m torn on what to write first. There are so many possibilities. Here are some ideas I’ve had for scenes that would be fun to write and share with you. Let me know in the comments what you’d like to see first.
Bonus Content Brainstorm:
True & Amara: What happened during Zen and Kennedy’s wedding reception (bonus scene).
Lucas: The equipment manager from the Wild Ride tour (Griffin’s book) get his chance at love (M/M novella).
Lennon, Atticus & Oscar: Acid trip scene (bonus scene from Tempting Harrison—you haven’t met these characters yet, but trust me when I say this scene would be hilarious).
Maddox, Ryan & Quinn: A reader requested a steamy scene between these three, so it’d be an expansion on the truth and dare scene in the book (bonus scene).
Jericho & Moon: Dealing with new parenthood with their colicky, terror of a child (bonus scene).
Lennon, Atticus & Violet: Again, characters you have yet to meet from Tempting Harrison, but I want these guys to find their HEA, and it’d be in a MMF/ménage novella (novella).
Griffin & Magnolia: Wedding (bonus scene).
Welp, those are all the ideas on my list. How about you? Which one would you want to see written? Or do you have your own ideas of a bonus scene or novella you’d like to read from the Shadow Phoenix characters before we say goodbye to the series and move on to the Hollywood Guardians with Connor? Leave me a comment and let me know!
British Heroes
So, right before I started writing Tempting Harrison, I was seriously kicking myself because what the hell was I thinking making him British? What do I know about writing a character who’s not even from my own country?
So, right before I started writing Tempting Harrison, I was seriously kicking myself because what the hell was I thinking making him British? What do I know about writing a character who’s not even from my own country?
I seriously almost scrapped the whole thing while also trying to kick my own ass for putting myself in this situation (it works, I’ve got long legs).
But then I took a deep breath and did what I do best—I jumped right into massive amounts of research. And by research, I mean reading books other people have written that have British heroes and making a list of term equivalencies so I can be sure to use the proper dialect when Harrison opens his pretty mouth to speak.
Part of my list, if you can read it. Sorry about my handwriting but… it is what it is.
Surprisingly, it hasn’t been going too bad. I’m actually enjoying the challenge of writing the stuffy, arrogant Harrison. All I’m hoping at this point is that I’m not completely butchering his accent. You’ll get to find out come February. Oh, did I mention I pushed up the release date by a month?
Yep! Harrison will be hitting your Kindle on February 22, a whole month early.
Want a little sneak peek? Keep reading…
Harrison
“He hasn’t spoken to me in almost two weeks,” I protested, but Moon wasn’t having it. I eyed the emails piling up in my inbox and sighed, refocusing on where she sat in one of the chairs on the other side of my desk.
“It’s my birthday, Harrison. The one day where the birthday girl gets whatever she wants, and what I want most is you at my birthday party.” Her smile was devious like she knew I couldn’t refuse her. I especially couldn’t now that her husband was pissed off at me. If I upset Moon on her birthday, I doubted anyone would ever find my body.
“Really? That’s what you want most?” I cocked an eyebrow at her, and her smile turned devious as she nodded.
“You wouldn’t dream of letting me down, right?”
“Of course not.” I pulled up my calendar. “What time?”
“Tonight at eight. I’ll text you the name of the club once I decide, so keep your phone close.” We both knew my phone was practically a fifth limb, and I never went anywhere without it nearby.
I nodded my agreement, and she stood, brushing off her clothes as she turned to leave. “Oh, your presence tonight will be gift enough, so please don’t worry about anything else.” She waved with her fingers and left my office. Despite the heaps of teasing she threw my way, I actually quite liked Moon. It was hard not to; she was so damn kind.
And if going tonight could get Jericho back on my good side? Even better.
Taming Griffin's LIVE! Behind the Scenes Q&A
Phew, what a journey! Taming Griffin is now live on Amazon (READ) and it was probably the most challenging book I’ve written so far. Up until now, every heroine had a tiny bit of me in them that made them relatable in my mind. Something I could latch onto to understand where they were coming from. For Kennedy, it was her anxiety and panic attacks, Amara’s was her love of waffles, Ryan was being a tomboy, and Moon’s was her free spirit.
Phew, what a journey! Taming Griffin is now live on Amazon (READ) and it was probably the most challenging book I’ve written so far. Up until now, every heroine had a tiny bit of me in them that made them relatable in my mind. Something I could latch onto to understand where they were coming from. For Kennedy, it was her anxiety and panic attacks, Amara’s was her love of waffles, Ryan was being a tomboy, and Moon’s was her free spirit.
(If you asked my husband, I think he’d tell you that I like the idea of being a free spirit more than I actually am one, but we’re going to pretend that I’m the kind of person who dances barefoot in the rain and dresses up in costume to go bar hopping. I, decidedly, am not.).
Magnolia was the first heroine I’ve written that was nothing like me AT ALL.
So, let’s jump into some behind the scenes on this book and a peek at what’s coming next, shall we?
How’d you get the idea for Griffin’s character?
Originally when I envisioned the series, I hadn’t planned for Maddox to have a brother. Somewhere around the middle of writing his book, though, I knew his mom was going to come back into the picture and Maddox had always been pretty alone in his life. I wanted him to not only have his HEA, but to also get to have that brotherly bond for realsies (ya know, with blood). The problem was… where would Griffin fit in?
Would he be another spin off series waiting to happen? Would he be a side character that never had his story told? Neither of those felt right, and it hit me as I was finishing up Maddox’s story and starting to brainstorm Jericho’s (something I usually do in the middle or earlier of the book before it—so when I was writing Zen, almost as soon as I started the book I started working on True’s story), I knew I wanted Griffin to take over for him. It felt right knowing where Jericho was going and his feelings on the whole fame thing.
In all of this, what was important to Jericho was being with the guys not being on stage (even though he loved the music), so it made sense to have him step aside and Griffin to fill his (very, very huge) shoes.
Now, when I first pictured Griffin, I pictured him this young guy but also very artistic and with lots of ink on his body and piercings and stuff. I figured he’d be this badass cocky troublemaker, sort of like Maddox only different because it didn’t come from a place of pain but instead of youth and just being dumb and wanting to have fun.
Instead, when I started writing him, he came out super sweet and caring and really naive when it came to matters of the heart which makes for some moments of uncertainty that really give him this lovely vulnerability. People say True’s the sweetest guy in the band, but I think Griffin might take his crown.
Why was Magnolia Southern? Why’d you give her the history with domestic abuse you did?
I’ve always had this fascination with the South. I’ve lived there a few times and, like I’ve mentioned before, there’s something about a Southern woman that’s both feisty and strong but in equal measure with sweetness that is so appealing to me. I’d wanted to write a Southern heroine for a while, but the timing was never right with any of the others. Magnolia was the perfect compliment to Griffin’s story and so I got my wish to write her.
It had nothing to do with my past obsession with the show Hart of Dixie and a certain Lemon Breeland, I swear… lol
As for the domestic violence, it was weird because it was probably July of this past summer and I was plotting the book sitting by the pool and letting my mind wander on what Magnolia would be like. Almost right away, I saw her with an abusive ex but she needed to have gotten away from him and be working on moving on from that.
Personally, I don’t have experience with DV so I asked in some of my writer groups and tons of women responded with their own personal experiences, for which I could never thank them enough. Those experiences were what I used as inspiration for all the crap Winston pulls in this book. It’s a lot and it’s disturbing, and her experiences make it all the better when she gets her HEA.
What made you want to write the band on tour?
Up to this point, we’ve seen the guys taking off for their first tour in Shadow Phoenix, ending a tour in Finding Zen, going solo in Loving True, writing music together in Saving Maddox, and recording a new album in Playing Jericho. It really felt fitting for them to go on tour and us to follow along on all the stops and chaos that happens along the way.
The cities I picked for their stops were ones I either personally have visited and loved, have a history with the band, or places I thought would make for dynamic settings for scenes I planned to write (like when Magnolia and Griffin go on dates).
Tell me all the deets about Lucky.
Magnolia’s pup, Lucky, is an Australian Shepherd. I’ve never personally owned one, but growing up my cousins had one that was the sweetest dog. They have the most gorgeous blue eyes and the fluffiest fur, so when I was picking what kind of puppy to give our heroine, this one stood out above the rest.
What’s up next?
I’ve started working on Tempting Harrison next, which follows our British hero as he fights off his attraction to the MUCH younger (and very forbidden) Bellamy Frost. You’ve briefly met Bellamy in Jericho’s book, but she’ll be front and center as the heroine of Harrison’s book.
Harrison is the final book in the Shadow Phoenix series, and once that’s done, I’m moving on to the Hollywood Guardians series, which kicks off with Connor and follows his team as they find love and protect the elite’s dirty little secrets. I’ve already started series planning this one and doing some plot work and I’m really excited about what’s going to happen in it.
Watch this space for more details about this series and sneaks into the first book coming soon! Captive (Connor’s story) is set to release April 20, 2021!
So, there you have it! All the behind the scenes dirt on Griffin and Magnolia’s story. Leave me a comment when you read it and let me know your favorite part!
Sorry For the Delay
I know, I know. It’s been a hot minute since I wrote anything on this blog, but there’s a good reason—promise! I’ve been hard at work writing Griffin. This book… it’s testing me, y’all. I’ve had to do so much research to try and get everything just right.
The Shadow Phoenix crew is going on tour in Griffin’s book, and while it’s not a huge tour, I want you to feel like you’re experiencing some of the places they go right there along with Magnolia and Griffin (and, of course, some of the other guys and girls from the group).
I know, I know. It’s been a hot minute since I wrote anything on this blog, but there’s a good reason—promise! I’ve been hard at work writing Griffin. This book… it’s testing me, y’all. I’ve had to do so much research to try and get everything just right.
The Shadow Phoenix crew is going on tour in Griffin’s book, and while it’s not a huge tour, I want you to feel like you’re experiencing some of the places they go right there along with Magnolia and Griffin (and, of course, some of the other guys and girls from the group).
So, I plan on getting back into more detailed blogs soon, just as soon as I finish writing this book. I’ve got less than three weeks to get everything done and the stress is legit kicking my ass.
I’m off to get this manuscript finished so I can get it into your hands… or devices. But in the meantime, read on for a little sneak peek of a silly and sweet moment between Griff and Mags.
Griffin
Magnolia raised her eyebrow at me and I laughed. “What? You know I’m from Texas.”
“Yeah, but you don’t strike me as the kind of guy who listens to a whole lot of country music,” she noted, letting her stunning blue gaze run over all my tattoos and piercings and my body heated under her scrutiny. Again.
“Well, ma’am, give me any country song from the nineties and I could probably sing along,” I drawled, letting the twang I’d worked hard to bury pop out in an over-exaggerated way and she giggled. It was a sound I hadn’t heard from her yet, but one that had everything inside me lighting up.
Instead of continuing our banter, she turned on the stage and looked out into the empty auditorium, breathing in deeply. “Just think about all the people who’ve stood on this stage in the last ninety-five years,” she mused. “The music that’s been played and all the people in the audience who had a chance to come out and see the show, no matter what was going on in their lives. They all came together to enjoy something special. It’s really incredible when you think about it.”
I stepped up beside her and looked out into the rows of empty seats. The Grand Ole Opry was a place of musical legend, and just like Magnolia, I never thought I’d be standing on this stage. This was one of those places on every musician’s bucket list--no matter how famous or not famous you were. “What show do you wish you could’ve seen?”
What I'm Working On
With the release of Playing Jericho, I haven’t been great about blogging. On the one hand, I was busy rushing to get it done on time. On the other hand, I’m fairly lazy when it comes to keeping up with my social media. Or anything, really, but that’s for another day (procrastination is another one of my many, many talents lol).
With the release of Playing Jericho, I haven’t been great about blogging. On the one hand, I was busy rushing to get it done on time. On the other hand, I’m fairly lazy when it comes to keeping up with my social media. Or anything, really, but that’s for another day (procrastination is another one of my many, many talents lol).
So… I did a thing. A sort of crazy thing that my husband challenged me to do—write my next book in just two months. I’m the type of girl who doesn’t appreciate when someone tells me I can’t do something so I went all challenge accepted on him and here we are. Me, writing Taming Griffin in just two months from start to finish.
Am I stressed about it? Sort of. But I’m surprisingly making decent progress on the manuscript and it’s going better than I thought. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that Griffin and Magnolia’s story came really easy to me. Where Jericho and Moon were a total struggle every step of the way, I knew who Magnolia was right from the start.
Griffin… I always thought he’d fit in well with his brother in the loveable asshole category, but when I actually started writing him, he quickly let me know he was more like True than any of the other guys. He’s sweet and younger than the rest of the guys of Shadow Phoenix, and with his youth comes a certain naivety.
He grew up in a happy home with parents who always supported him, so he never really learned about the hardships the world has to offer. When he starts his journey with SP—a job he got pretty easily because of who his brother is—he has no clue about people’s nefarious intentions and motivations, or that someone might get close to him because of what he has to offer, not because of who he is.
Magnolia… she has some serious baggage she brings with her on tour. In Taming Griffin, we follow the band on a nationwide tour, one that Magnolia’s responsible for managing. She has her own reasons for wanting to be on the road and never staying in one place for too long, and none of them are good.
I’m excited to share more sneaks of the sweet but sexy Griffin, and the sassy Southern Magnolia. Read on for an unedited sneak peek!
Magnolia
“Did you enjoy the show?” a smooth, deep voice asked from right over my shoulder and I spun, throwing my fist right at his face. Griffin reacted so fast, he managed to catch my punch instead of letting it smash into his too-perfect face. “Damn, what’d I do to piss you off this time? I was coming to apologize.”
I jerked my hand out of the hold he had on it, horrified at myself for reacting that way. I learned a long time ago someone sneaking up on me wasn’t a good thing and now I reacted accordingly. “Hasn’t anyone ever taught you not to sneak up a woman?” I snapped, my heart racing a million miles an hour.
He studied my face carefully before lifting his hands in surrender and taking a step back. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He raked his fingers through the damp strands of his wavy brown hair. “I wanted to apologize again for this morning. It was unprofessional of me to not even let you know I wouldn’t be able to make it, and it won’t happen again.”
Meet: Maddox
Maddox was actually the second character that really solidified himself in my mind when I was writing Finding Zen. He was partially inspired by the song “Marry Me” by Thomas Rhett. I knew what his story would be like, but I wasn’t quite sure about his personality.
But the more I wrote him, the more of an asshole he came to be. But I loved that about him. He was the snarky one, the first one to make a snide comment, to flirt unabashedly, to stir up drama and give people shit. He spoke his mind without reservation and I loved that about him.
Maddox was actually the second character that really solidified himself in my mind when I was writing Finding Zen. He was partially inspired by the song “Marry Me” by Thomas Rhett. I knew what his story would be like, but I wasn’t quite sure about his personality.
But the more I wrote him, the more of an asshole he came to be. But I loved that about him. He was the snarky one, the first one to make a snide comment, to flirt unabashedly, to stir up drama and give people shit. He spoke his mind without reservation and I loved that about him.
The one thing that he always is without fail is protective, though. He’s the fixer of the group, the one who makes problems go away. He does what he has to do, but there are lines even he won’t cross. There aren’t many, but they’re there. He has morals and standards, they just might not be what we all think they are.
When we meet Maddox in Shadow Phoenix, he’s still so torn up over the way he left Ryan behind that the guilt is absolutely destroying him. So to cope, he resorts to some unexpected things that I think will shock a lot of people. But, I really enjoy playing with sexuality in a more fluid way, and of all the guys, I thought Maddox could handle it best.
We get a little sneak peek into Maddox’s comfort level with who he is in a scene in Saving Maddox with Ryan and Quinn, but Shadow Phoenix really takes a deeper dive into exploring the dark time he’s going through trying to cope with how to move on from trying to move on without the love of his life.
Where we see Maddox in Shadow Phoenix is just the start of almost a decade-long downward spiral that he recovers from and comes out even better on the other side, but prepare yourself for a Maddox you’ve never seen before.
Meet: Jericho
When I originally came up with my first book idea in Finding Zen, I knew I was going to be writing about a band of guys. I like reading books in a series, so that’s what I wanted to write. So, I had to decide how many guys and how the band would be put together.
When I originally came up with my first book idea in Finding Zen, I knew I was going to be writing about a band of guys. I like reading books in a series, so that’s what I wanted to write. So, I had to decide how many guys and how the band would be put together.
It didn’t take long for me to decide I wanted four guys, and for the four of them to start to show me their identities. Well, I should say three of them. Jericho… he’s been a tough nut to crack.
Originally, I thought he was going to be this super shy guy who had a really hard time in social situations, particularly with women. I was also going to have him originally born in Japan and brought to the US as a kid. But, the more I wrote the other guy’s stories with Jericho in the background, the more he changed and his character became something totally different than who I thought he was.
As you’ll read in Shadow Phoenix, Jericho’s not shy AT ALL. He’s quietly controlled and only speaks when he has something to say, not to fill the noise. He was adopted as a baby and doesn’t know his birth parents, but his adoptive parents were cold and unaffectionate.
He didn’t have a bad childhood, per se, but it was lonely and impersonal. His parents had their own lives and at a certain point, he didn’t really fit into them anymore. He used to spend a lot of time wondering why they even wanted him in the first place.
They’re not supportive of him or his career choices, and because of that he’s not close to them. He doesn’t have any siblings that he’s aware of, and so when True recruits him for the band, he jumps in with both feet. The guys become his brothers and are the only people in the world he lets see the real him. The only people he really, fully trusts.
Jericho has a dark streak to him and it presents itself in more ways than one. It comes out quite a bit in SP, but you’ll get to see a whole lot more of the darkness inside him in Playing Jericho. Unleashing his true self has been one of my favorite things but also some of the hardest words I’ve ever written. But I needed to let Jericho be who he was meant to be even if that wasn’t who I thought he should be, and isn’t that just the story of his life?
Two more members to go… Do you have a favorite yet?
Meet: Zen
Zen was the very first character I ever came up with. I’ve talked a little bit about this before, but when I heard the song “The Hills” by The Weeknd, I really started to wonder what that lifestyle would look like. For my first foray into attempting to write my own book, I wanted to write something exciting. What better to start out with than rock stars?
Zen was the very first character I ever came up with. I’ve talked a little bit about this before, but when I heard the song “The Hills” by The Weeknd, I really started to wonder what that lifestyle would look like. For my first foray into attempting to write my own book, I wanted to write something exciting. What better to start out with than rock stars?
At his base, Zen was always an alpha, bad boy hero with a cocky swagger, ink covering almost every inch of his delectable body, and an emptiness inside that he wasn’t sure how to cope with anymore. He’d sort of been there, done that, you know?
As humans, we adapt to situations really fast, so his lifestyle wasn’t exciting to him anymore. He’d been at this whole mega-famous superstar thing for more than a decade and it was stale. So, I wanted him to be someone I could push around a little. Someone who’s eyes could be opened to new possibilities, and someone who could look at the world through fresh eyes if the right person came along.
His character’s look was originally inspired by Shane Burnell (@shaneburnell on insta, hel-lo), a green-eyed, tatted up hottie who all the girls wanted. When deciding on his name, I wanted it to be something short and easy to pronounce and remember, but also unique and worthy of his status.
In my mind, his parents were hippies and raised him (I use this term loosely since they weren’t really around at all) on a commune, so his name makes sense in that context, too.
As a kid, someone on the commune taught him to play guitar and he grew up singing songs around bonfires most nights. This was where his love of music came from, and I imagine that he liked to pass the time making up songs because there weren’t TVs or electronics or other things that most kids had growing up.
As a teenager, he decided he’d had enough and wanted to take control of his life, so he got emancipated and moved to LA and that’s where we find him when Shadow Phoenix begins. Zen is driven, hard-working, and determined to have whatever he sets his sights on. He’ll pursue it until he either gets it or is physically unable to do any more, but he’ll never give up.
He’s the perfect partner for Kennedy, but it’s a long road to get him to where he’s ready to settle down.
Wednesday I’ll be giving you some background info on one of the other guys, so make sure to check back in!
Which one of the four guys is your favorite? Zen, True, Maddox, or Jericho? Leave me a comment and let me know!
What I Wrote This Week
This week, my sole writing focus was the Shadow Phoenix prequel. Want to know the best part about this book? It’s going to be totally FREE! Woo!
This week, my sole writing focus was the Shadow Phoenix prequel. Want to know the best part about this book? It’s going to be totally FREE! Woo!
It’s been coming along nicely and I’m having a lot of fun writing it. I’m a little bit worried about how you all will like it because it’s not necessarily like a traditional romance. Sure, there are steamy scenes and all sorts of debauchery in the book, but this story is more about the guys and their friendship and how they depend on each other more than anyone else in this world while they’re trying to navigate climbing the show business ranks.
They go through a lot through the span of the book, and I’ve been pushing my writing to put them in scenes that make me uncomfortable to write. It’s been an experience and one that’s helped me grow in a lot of different ways.
One thing I’m doing this book that I’ve never done before? I’m not plotting anything ahead of time. As a writer, I usually plot every single thing in my books down to the scene (usually I write 2-4 scenes per chapter) but this time I just sat down and started writing.
Like above, it’s pushed me outside of my comfort zone and at times has left me for days pulling out my hair or staring off into space wondering what the hell I’m going to do next or where I’m going to take the story so that it makes sense. But I’ve learned to listen to my gut and just go with whatever feels right, even if my mind wants to fight me.
Being a writer is weird, y’all.
But, I’m pretty sure I only have two chapters left to write and then this baby’s going to be done. And when it is? Buckle. Up.
You’ll want to read this one before you read Jericho because his character’s going to make a LOT more sense if you do. I’ll give you more details about a release date soon, but it’s not going to be much longer before it drops!
A Tiny Sneak Peek:
True
A letter with my name on it sat propped on the kitchen counter, and I eyed it like it was about to catch on fire. I texted the guys to come over as soon as I noticed it because I couldn’t bring myself to open it alone.
What do you think is in the envelope? Leave me a comment with your guesses!
Character Inspiration: Ryan
When I first started thinking about the story line for Saving Maddox, I knew who Maddox was because I’d already played with his character and spent some time developing it in Finding Zen and Loving True. I also knew some of the details I wanted to have happen in the story because they were inspired by a song. (If you’re curious, check out the Playlists tab).
When I first started thinking about the story line for Saving Maddox, I knew who Maddox was because I’d already played with his character and spent some time developing it in Finding Zen and Loving True. I also knew some of the details I wanted to have happen in the story because they were inspired by a song. (If you’re curious, check out the Playlists tab).
But Maddox needed a girl who was tough, who wouldn’t let him get away with his shit but who was also soft enough to harden his rough edges. A girl who understood him on a level no one else ever could because she’d been there with him through some of the hardest times in his life.
A girl like that? She’d have to go through her own struggles and come out stronger for it.
When I thought about her struggles, at first I wanted her to be a tomboy through and through. But, that didn’t feel quite right. So, because I’ve always been a big fan of giving girls gender neutral or traditionally “boy” names, I started looking through name lists. The name Ryan just stuck out to me, and I thought about how kids can be assholes and would probably bully a girl for having a boy’s name. And her back story was born.
Reflecting on her home life, her hopes and dreams, her ambitions… It took weeks. I knew she had to have experienced life outside of her tiny Texas town, but why would she have ever come back? I needed to give her a reason, and her dad’s accident fit the bill.
Ryan is strong, resilient, and doesn’t let shit get her down. While I put a little something of myself into every character and every story, Ryan and I couldn’t be any more different but I love her just the same.
You can get to know her better in Saving Maddox, and see for yourself just how much of a badass she really is.
What I Wrote This Week
I spent the majority of this week working on two things: An overhaul of Finding Zen and the Shadow Phoenix prequel (which as of now is tentatively named Shadow Phoenix).
I spent the majority of this week working on two things: An overhaul of Finding Zen and the Shadow Phoenix prequel (which as of now is tentatively named Shadow Phoenix).
Finding Zen was my first ever novel, and as a writer I think I’ve come a long way since I wrote it, even though I started it almost exactly one year ago. I learned tons through the whole process and while I still love the bones of the story, I think there are some things that could use tightening up—plot holes I missed the first time around being one of them.
So, I’ve been meticulously going through each chapter with a lot of help and polishing up the story to make it better. As of now, I’m more than halfway through it and would really like to have uploaded the new version by next week.
As far as Shadow Phoenix… This one’s going to be intense. It’s a prequel and will be a novella, so it won’t be quite as long, but it centers around the band’s formation and the main relationship focus is on the guys’ friendship. Now, that doesn’t mean there isn’t plenty of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. The debauchery in this book isn’t quite like anything you’ve seen me write before. But that’s what makes it fun!
Exploring all sorts of dark angles and themes has been a blast so far. I still don’t have a release date for this one, yet, but as it gets closer I’ll let you know. The story is told from four points of view—Maddox, True, Zen, and Jericho. You’ll get a deep dive into the personalities and inner workings of each guy and the stuff they’ve gone through to get to where they are.
You’ll get to watch their rise to stardom and experience their ups and downs along the way. And let me tell you, you’re in for quite a ride. So keep your eyes peeled to future posts for more sneak peeks and details as I hammer this one out.
And if you want to read an small (unedited) excerpt, keep scrolling.
Maddox
I held up the bottle I’d swiped off of the shelf next to the office door on my way out, tilting it side to side. “Want a drink?”
Zen sat back down and I sat next to him, crossing my ankle over my knee as I leaned back into the cool leather and twisted the cap off of the bottle. I took a giant swig before passing him the container. He lifted it to his lips and took a sip before lowering it back down. “Are you going to get anything done while we’re here?”
Shrugging, I grabbed the bottle back from him. “Not ink. I’ve always wanted to pierce something, though.”
He raised his eyebrow. “Really? Please don’t say your cock.”
I tossed my head back and laughed. I hadn’t been considering it but now that he mentioned it, it wasn’t the worst idea. The thought of some long-ass needle being stuck through my dick was cringeworthy, even if it meant greater pleasure later. No fucking thank you.
“Nah, maybe my nose like True. Or a nipple.”
“A nipple,” Zen repeated incredulously. “Why the fuck would you want to pierce your nipple?”
“Why not? I think it’s hot when guys have their nipples pierced.” I took another pull from the bottle, feeling the effects of the liquor as it warmed my blood and I relaxed further into the sofa.
“If you say so.” Zen reached for the bottle.
What I Wrote This Week
This past Tuesday, Saving Maddox released and now that it’s out in the world it was time for me to jump into my next project. If I’m not actively writing something at pretty much all times, I get twitchy.
This past Tuesday, Saving Maddox released and now that it’s out in the world it was time for me to jump into my next project. If I’m not actively writing something at pretty much all times, I get twitchy.
Unlike every other aspect of my life, my writing process is really organized and linear. I start my projects by figuring out the two main characters and a loose plot line. I figure out where I want them to start and how I want the story to end. And then I jump into detailed plotting.
I plot every single scene I’m going to write before I write it. At least that’s typically how I do things. I also only work on one project at a time.
Way back when, I was super into knitting. And I was also super into starting a million projects and never finishing one so I had half-finished knitting projects all over the house. Knowing that about myself, when I started on this writing journey I told myself I would only start something if I finished something else. So far this has served me well, but I had two projects once Maddox was done that were tugging at me and demanding to be written.
So this week, I broke my self-imposed one project at a time rule. That’s right: I’m actively writing TWO books right now.
So what are they?
Well, the first is Playing Jericho. Out of all the books I’ve written so far, this one has given me the most trouble plot-wise. The character I originally envisioned for Jericho didn’t fit when the time came to start actually plotting the book and it took me a couple of months of plotting and replotting to finally figure out that the problem wasn’t the plot but the character instead. Which meant a complete overhaul of who he was as a person.
I had to stop trying to force him into what I thought he should be and start letting him be who he was meant to be. Once I did that, the plot flowed and the words came a lot easier.
On top of Jericho, I’m also working on a prequel. It’s working title is Shadow Phoenix (original, I know haha) and it’s the story of the four original band members and their friendship and their path to fame. It starts just before high school graduation and follows the start of their music career with lots of debauchery along the way. It’s been fun to write, and unlike Jericho, I’m not plotting the shit out of it before I write it. I’m just writing and seeing what happens.
So far I don’t have a release date set for the prequel, but I’ll let you know when I get closer.
It’s been hot, so I’ve been multitasking by spending time with my kiddo at the pool and writing.
So, here’s how this week breaks down:
Playing Jericho: 2 chapters written
Shadow Phoenix: 3 chapters written
A few done, many, many more to go!
A quick (unedited!) sneak peek from Playing Jericho:
Jericho
I repressed the urge to smash my controller against the wall and squeezed my eyes shut, taking a deep breath. “Fuck, I’m out. Maybe we’ll have better luck tomorrow,” DeathMinion said before signing off of the game. Once he was gone, FatUncle followed him and that just left LunaGirl and me. A devilish grin crossed my face.
“Hey, Luna,” I breathed into the mic, lowering my voice to almost a growl.
She laughed that throaty laugh of hers that always turned me the fuck on. “Hey, Wicked. Nice campaign, even if we did get our asses kicked.”
Flirting with Luna over this game was what I looked forward to most these days. It wasn’t playing sold out shows with Shadow Phoenix, the band I was a drummer for. It wasn’t accepting awards, doing interviews, or any of the other boring-ass shit that came along with being someone famous. Nope. It was this right here—LunaGirl and her sultry voice. Her and this game were the only places I let myself really be who I was deep down inside. The only safe places I had to let the darkness out to play because LunaGirl got off on my need for control.
Have a great weekend, and look for my “What I Read This Weekend” post on Monday for my favorite reads from the past weekend.
Character Inspiration: Yates
The original idea for Saving Maddox came from the song “Marry You” by Thomas Rhett. I listened to the lyrics and pictured a guy who was totally tortured and heartbroken sitting in the back row watching the woman he’d loved for basically his whole life marrying someone else.
Check out my Pinterest board for Yates by clicking here.
The original idea for Saving Maddox came from the song “Marry You” by Thomas Rhett. I listened to the lyrics and pictured a guy who was totally tortured and heartbroken sitting in the back row watching the woman he’d loved for basically his whole life marrying someone else.
Just imagine the level of heartbreak. It was deliciously angsty.
I’m not typically an angst writer, but I wanted to dip my toes in and this book gave me the perfect story to do it. And as you can imagine, when faced with watching the woman you love walk down the aisle to marry someone else, that guy needs to be a tool.
That’s right: A grade-A douchebag.
Why? Well, you don’t want to feel bad for the guy she’s marrying. You want to hate him. Enter Yates.
Right off the bat, I knew I needed a guy who had a name that made me cringe. He had to be old money. Snobby. The kind of guy who looked down his nose at pretty much everyone except his equally stuck up friends and maybe his mother.
To find his name, I literally googled, “Ivy League Names for Boys,” and picked the worst one I could find. If your son is named Yates, I realize I’m being a bit of an asshole but well… Yates.
Anyway, I wanted him to be a guy that at first seemed like he was at the very least okay if not sort of good. He’s attractive and charming. He swoops in to help Ryan with her biggest problem when she thought she had nowhere else to turn.
The problems start when Maddox walks back into the picture and Yates’s plan is threatened. See, he’s a shady, shady guy and he’s determined to get what he wants at all costs. He’s tenacious and an asshole which doesn’t make for a great combination.
And when someone messes with Yates, he doesn’t just take it. He fights back and he fights dirty.
I actually had a lot of fun writing his character. On days when I was frustrated or not having a great day, I’d write a Yates scene and have the other characters give him a hard time. It always made me laugh and for that reason, he’ll always be one of my favorites.
If you want to see what becomes of Yates, check out Saving Maddox.
Sneak Peek: Saving Maddox Prologue
I’ve been busy writing away on book three of the Shadow Phoenix series - Saving Maddox! It’s coming along great and I can’t wait to share it with you next month. Maddox and Ryan are childhood best friends and are finding their way back to each other.
You can read the prologue below to get a sneak peek into how their friendship started.
I’ve been busy writing away on book three of the Shadow Phoenix series - Saving Maddox! It’s coming along great and I can’t wait to share it with you next month. Maddox and Ryan are childhood best friends and are finding their way back to each other.
You can read the prologue below to get a sneak peek into how their friendship started.
Prologue
Ryan
“I bet she has a dick, too!” Tyler shouted through his laughter.
Oh, no. Not again.
I tried to curl into myself as my cheeks burned. I’d gotten used to Tyler and Jacob teasing me, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t embarrassing. Just because I wore pants instead of dresses and liked playing sports with the boys during recess didn’t mean I was a boy.
“What do you say, Ryan? How ‘bout we see for ourselves?” Jacob taunted as they moved toward me. I couldn’t let them pull down my pants in front of everyone. My heart was pounding and my eyes darted around, looking for anyone to help me. But all the other kids crowded around the bus stop were ignoring me.
As I continued to back up, step by step trying to put distance between me and my bullies, my chin wobbled. Even as my eyes stung, I refused to cry. These two boys had been bothering me all year. I didn’t wear a ponytail in my hair anymore because if I did, they’d pull my hair. I didn’t understand why they couldn’t just leave me alone. What did it matter that my parents had given me a boy’s name? I’d always thought my name was cool and different. I was proud of it.
At least until this year. Now I wished my name was anything else so I could blend in. My sister Charlie told me to ignore them, that they were picking on me because they liked me. I didn’t believe her, though. Why would they call me names or hurt me if they thought I was pretty? It didn’t make sense. Why would they embarrass me in front of everyone over and over again?
My back hit the signpost that marked the stop and I tripped, falling onto the dusty dirt-covered ground and scraped my palms and knees. I tried not to show fear, lifting my chin and narrowing my eyes defiantly at the boys who towered over me.
“Leave me alone,” I said with a shaky voice.
“Boys aren’t allowed to cry, Ryan. If you cry, I’ll punch you.” Jacob moved his lanky body toward me. He was only ten, like me, but he was the tallest kid in my class. When he was standing practically on top of me, his shadow blocked out the sun and I looked up into his face. He wore a sneer that made him look like he’d smelled something bad.
I was more convinced than ever that Charlie was dead wrong. These boys didn’t like me. They hated me. Tyler sauntered over to me and reached down, wrapping his hand around my upper arm and squeezing so hard it hurt. I flinched and tried to pull away, but he was stronger than I was.
My lungs were burning because I was breathing so fast but I couldn’t lose focus. I kicked out my foot and hit Tyler in the shin and he squeezed harder. “Jake, grab her other arm.”
Jacob reached down and dug his stubby nails into my skin and even though I tried to completely relax my body so I’d be harder to pick up, they still dragged me to my feet.
“Please don’t do this,” I begged, hating myself for showing weakness. They looked at each other and then cracked up laughing which made me cringe. I hadn’t done myself any favors trying to get them to stop but I had to try. They’d humiliated me over and over, putting paint on my chair so I ruined my pants and had to walk away with red marks on my butt all day, tripping me when I walked up to turn in my homework.
They’d done too much stuff to even count, every time breaking another little part of me down. This year, I’d gone from happy and carefree to the mess I was right now, shaking and on the verge of tears. Tyler and Jacob made me feel weak and I hated it. When I get bigger, I’ll never let anyone make me feel weak again. But right now, there was nothing I could do.
Even if I was strong enough, two on one wasn’t a fair fight.
Tyler let go of my arm and I swung back to punch him, but Jacob caught my flying fist and trapped both of my hands behind my back while Tyler gripped the waist of my jeans. He’d have to unbutton them to pull them down and I twisted, trying to keep the clasp away from his grubby fingers.
“Let her go.” A low, menacing voice came from behind me and relief washed over me. Someone noticed. Someone cared enough to take on my two bullies for me. It started to sink in that the group of kids at the bus stop wouldn’t be seeing my underwear today and I could cry from happiness.
Tyler laughed at my mystery guardian. He still stood behind me and I couldn’t turn myself to see who it was. “I don’t think I want to. What do you think, Jake?”
Jacob glanced uneasily behind me and back to his friend. “I don’t know, Ty. Maybe we should see Ryan during recess instead.”
Tyler’s hands were pried off of my arms and I shook out my wrists before turning around. I had to tilt my chin up to see him, but the boy who saved me wasn’t a stranger. He lived on the ranch next door and I’d met him a handful of times, but we weren’t friends. He missed more school than he went to, so I didn’t see him at the bus stop very often.
I guess today was my lucky day since he’d shown up and stepped in. His dark eyes locked on mine, anger and concern swirled in them and I didn’t want to look away. “Are you okay?” he asked.
I nodded. “Thank you.” I couldn’t think of anything better to say.
He pulled me so I was standing behind him and straightened himself up to his full twelve-year-old height. “If you touch her again, I’ll kill you. Both of you.” The threat in his voice gave me chills. It didn’t feel like he was kidding to me and I think Tyler and Jacob felt the same way. They backed up, hands raised in the air and ran back to the rest of the group.
The boy stepped forward and grabbed my backpack, dusting it off before handing it back to me. “Those assholes shouldn’t bother you anymore but if they do, you tell me.” His eyes were hard and he cracked his knuckles.
“I will. Thanks again. By the way, I’m Ryan. I think you live next door, right?” I wasn’t in a hurry to move away from my protector. I glanced around him, eyeing Jacob and Tyler wearily. They were whispering to each other and looking my way. I didn’t have high hopes that they’d listen to the boy and leave me alone.
“I’m Maddox.” His lips tilted up on one side into a sort of amused half smile. “Yep, we’re neighbors.” He followed my gaze to Tyler and Jacob and his eyes narrowed before he looked back at me. “I mean it, Ryan. From now on, you wait for me in the morning and we’ll come to the bus stop together. After school, I’ll walk you home. If they bother you during school, I need you to tell me, okay?”
Tearing my gaze off of my bullies, I looked into his eyes, studying them. Did he mean it? The small golden flecks dotting the beautiful dark brown of his irises was mesmerizing. My cheeks heated again when he cleared his throat and I looked away. I’d never given a boy a second glance before but Maddox had saved me. His dark hair fell into his eyes and I suddenly wanted to reach up and brush it away so I could get another glimpse of the galaxy hidden in his gaze.
“What?” I finally managed.
His laugh was dark and low, like he knew he’d caught me staring at him and I shuffled my feet, kicking up some dust as the bus pulled up. “From now on, we go to and from school together. And you sit by me on the bus.”
“Okay,” I quickly agreed. I felt safe with Maddox. If it meant freedom from Tyler and Jacob, I’d gladly follow him around all day. A flush crept up my neck again when he reached for my hand, tugging me toward the bus. I’d never be able to thank him enough for what he did for me today.
The boy next door was a mystery, one I suddenly wanted to discover more than anything.
What Inspired Finding Zen
I do my best thinking in the shower. Yep, I said it. Not just a normal shower, though. I like to turn off all the lights and turn on Pandora and just let my mind wander in the dark. Sometimes I listen to the music, sometimes it’s just background noise while my mind wanders.
I do my best thinking in the shower. Yep, I said it. Not just a normal shower, though. I like to turn off all the lights and turn on Pandora and just let my mind wander in the dark. Sometimes I listen to the music, sometimes it’s just background noise while my mind wanders.
If I’m feeling stuck on a story or not sure where to go, I can always work out where I want to go next with this method. Maybe it’s unconventional, but so am I so it works.
I read like crazy. When I say that, I mean I read obsessively. Usually one or two books every single day. I like to find an author I like (currently Tessa Bailey is a fave!) and work through their entire written works before I move on to someone new.
Now that you’ve got some background, you’ll understand everything a little more clearly. Because I read so much, I knew I wanted to try my hand at writing a book. I knew I wanted it to be romance. I also knew I wanted it to be a series because those are my favorite books to read. I love when the story shifts to another new couple but you still get little updates on the couple(s) you fell in love with in past books.
Other than that, I had no idea what to write about. One afternoon I was taking one of my “thinking showers” and listening to Pandora like normal letting my mind wander. The next thing I knew, the song “The Hills” by The Weeknd came on (listen to it in the Finding Zen playlist here) and I found the lyrics intriguing.
The idea that this guy was a celebrity, a famous musician, and had all these hookups and was living this rockstar life was intriguing to me. The lyrics were crass and uncomfortable and that’s actually what made me dream up a story where a guy could go from saying things like “I only call you when it’s half past five” or “I just fucked two bitches before I saw you” to being head over heels in love with someone and sort of reformed in a way felt like a story I wanted to explore.
Because I knew I wanted Zen and Kennedy’s story to be the first book in a series (yes, I always bite off waaaaay too much when I dive into something new and writing is no exception) I knew that the story would be Zen’s but that he had to be in a band. There was too much to explore in the world of Shadow Phoenix to leave it at one book which felt just right to me.
The other side of the story is Kennedy’s and it’s a personal one to me. While her and I aren’t the same person AT ALL, we do have some similarities. I felt like it was important that the heroine of this story be strong and capable but experiencing her own struggle, one that I suffer with in my own life. It was cathartic writing the struggle from her perspective (which is not my own) and watching her fight her way through it has inspired me in my own life and shown me that I’m just as capable as her.
So there you have it, the inspiration behind Finding Zen. I hope you love it as much as I loved writing it. I’ll forever be attached to Zen and Kennedy because they both taught me how to do what I love most: Tell love stories.
Happy reading,
Heather