Crossed Souls in the Making

I mentioned in my last post that Crossed Souls had started in my head as something so much different than it turned out to be when I wrote it. Originally, I imagined Willa as a sort of Cupid-like character. She was compelled to help everyone around her find their soulmates while not having one of her own and she was definitely bitter about it.

Here’s one of the very first things I wrote when I was trying to flesh out the idea (sometimes, I get a snippet of a character’s inner thoughts or a tiny bit of a scene so I just write it out and stick it in a folder to deal with later. In this case, I never did anything with it because the story went in a different direction):

The book was originally going to be titled “Soulbound,” and I’m really glad I didn’t stick with that one. It would still fit in the context of the series, but I like Crossed Souls better.

Once I had an idea of who Willa was, it was time to create her harem. I’ve always had a love for all things dark and psycho, so Hiro and Crew were the first two guys who flickered into existence in my head. Then, Ever and Knox joined the party… and I can’t promise things will end with the four of them.

I’ve talked about my series bible before for this book, but this thing is a BEAST.

For every character I create, I make a full write up on them. Here’s just a peek into part of Willa’s:

There are about three pages like this for each character detailing all sorts of stuff about them, and I do the same thing for places, familiars, villains, magic types, and everything else in between. It’s a pretty hefty file when all is said and done. It goes on and on…

Did you have any idea how much goes into writing a book? I know I didn’t before I started doing it myself! Now I’m curious: Leave me a comment and let me know who your favorite character in CS is.

Crossed Souls - Rewrites

Crossed Souls, the first book in my Twisted Soul Magic series, was my first foray into paranormal romance. This was a story that started out in my head as something so much different than it came out when I wrote it. It also was my first attempt at writing reverse harem, and y’all… that shit is hard.

So, even though I did a ton of prep work going into the series (my series bible is more than 6,500 words, which is roughly two full chapters of writing), at times I felt like the story sort of got away from me. Trying to keep all the voices, goals, and quirks of each character unique while keeping the story on track was definitely a challenge I felt like I started to lose as the book went on.

Despite all of that, I was happy with it when it came out… until I started to read the reviews. Because the readers weren’t loving it. You guys thought Willa was naive and stupid and let her life happen to her (a fair assessment, unfortunately, and not at all how I set out to write her), that some of the plot got repetitive, and that my world building left a lot to be desired.

See, as much as I try not to, I read every review and I like to think I’m pretty good at taking constructive criticism. Now, when someone leaves me a 1-star and tells me my story sounds like it was written by a man (yes, that’s an actual review I’ve gotten), I can laugh that shit off. But, when a bunch of people say, “I kind of hate your heroine,” or, “your worldbuilding doesn’t make sense,” I listen.

It’s because of reviews like that that I’ve decided to do some major rewrites on Crossed Souls to make it a better intro into the series. I’ve put Twisted Little Games and Emerald Hills Elite off for now (no idea when it’ll be releasing) because this needs to happen first. I’m doing a full (MASSIVE) rewrite on the entire manuscript of Crossed Souls to try and improve it.

So, instead of updating you on the progress of me writing TLG, I’ll be updating you for now on my rewriting progress and giving you peeks into the differences in the story from what it started out as to what it’s turning into.

For now, all I’ve managed to get through is chapter one. But, it got some pretty significant rewrites already. Let’s look at the beginning.

This is the way the book originally started. What I was thinking when I wrote this scene was that she was having a dream, one where her powers were activating and she was confused. She was coming into her first contact with her Guardians, though she didn’t know who they were or what was happening in any way.

In hindsight, I can see that to the reader, this whole thing is pretty confusing. It made sense in my head at the time because I knew where the story was going, but as a reader, you didn’t.

So, I changed the whole thing (though she’s still having a dream) to be more conversational, to have a bit more of Willa’s personality in it, and to hopefully have it make more sense what’s happening. I don’t even think before it was necessarily clear that she was dreaming, but with the new version, I really tried to punch that fact home.

So, you can see that the story has changed already quite a bit, and there’s lots more to do. I’ll keep you updated on how the rewrites are going, but so far I’m a lot happier with where the story is headed. Have you read Crossed Souls yet? If so, leave me a comment and let me know!

What I Read This Week

I’ve been on a bit of a Siobahn Davis kick lately and so I happily took a deep dive into her Rydeville High series this past weekend. Now, I haven’t finished the entire series, but this one’s set up a little different than your usual series. It’s a combination of a trilogy with cliffhanger endings and then jumps to some standalones for the other characters.

When I started the series, it was set up like a reverse harem, so I was sort of expecting that, but it wasn’t even close. But it really made me love those other two male characters, Jackson and Sawyer, so I’m excited to see what their stories are about in the standalones.

One thing to note: This series is a high school bully romance series and when she says bully, she REALLY means it. I’ve only read the trilogy so far, but this is probably the darkest series I have ever read. There are a lot of disturbing scenes and themes that take place throughout the three books.

I mean, book one starts out with our heroine trying to off herself and it just gets darker from there. The payoff, though… The payoff is worth it all. The ending is completely satisfying, even if I do hope that Abby and Kai make an appearance in any and all future standalone books because I can’t get enough of them being happy.

The two of them went through the ringer, more than I would have even imagined. If you’re looking for an emotional read to take you on a wild ride, I definitely recommend this series. I haven’t been let down by Siobahn yet!

Start with book 1:

Cruel Intentions

Did you read anything amazing this week? Let me know in the comments so I can add to my TBR!

Ruined Rockstars Object Covers

Have you noticed the new cover trend in steamy romance? I’ve been watching it for a while, but this year in particular it’s really moving away from the shirtless guy cover and into the object/text based covers. I really love the creativity that comes along with these, and as much as I loved the ones I was seeing, it was still scared to pull the trigger on using an object cover for my own books.

I mean, look at the top best sellers in romance at the moment:

I see a few guys, sure. That’s the classic way to go and people still like them. But do you see how many object or text-based covers there are?

When I reached out to my designer (Dee at Black Widow Designs) I truly had no idea what I wanted. I sent a bunch of random stock photos that I thought were related to rock star stuff or had the right “feel” and hoped one of them might inspire her.

And holy crap, did it ever!

Check out the new object-based covers she came up with:

Aren’t they amazing?

I’m currently working on getting the covers switched over for Paperback (because it involves some interior formatting changes… I like to have my chapter headers match the fonts on the outside of the book so everything’s cohesive), but they should all be updated soon!

So, what do you think about this new trend? Leave a comment and let me know!

Twisted Little Games - Plot

Every book I write, my actual process of writing the book changes just a little bit. Well, I guess that’s not true—sometimes it changes a LOT.

I’ve talked about this before, but I’m a hardcore plotter. There are some writers (called Pantsers) who can just sit down and write and let the story take them wherever it wants. The thought of that gives me massive anxiety. Sitting down to stare at a blank screen with no idea where I’m going makes me sweat.

I tend to write out the big parts of the story (like where it’s going to start, end, and anything important from the middle) and then start to get more and more and more intense and detailed as I break it down until I have all the details worked out before I start writing.

As much as this brings me peace and lets my brain calm down enough to begin, it also really boxes me in. So much so that with two of the last three books I’ve written (Hostile and Chased), I’ve had to scrap the second half plans for both, do massive rewrites and then replot the second half. It’s a big undertaking that might not have been necessary if I’d just shifted the way I worked.

Yesterday I was stressing over Twisted Little Games because I know the characters. I know exactly where I want it to start and where it’s going to end. The problem is the middle is still a bit fuzzy for me and not a lot was coming to me when I’d sit and try to brainstorm.

Enter my writing partner slash awesome friend Cathleen Cole who said, “Why don’t you start with what you have and then when you get to the end of what you’ve figured out, plot the next bit?”

Uhhhh.

Lightbulb moment!

So, that’s how I’m writing this book. I started today working on the first chapter without the entire thing plotted out (eeeeep!). We’ll see if this way allows for more creative freedom without it being a total free for all or if it bites me in the ass, but at this point I’m willing to try anything.

Emerald Hills Elite Behind the Scenes

The Emerald Hills Elite series has been on my mind for a looong time. I don’t know if reverse harem academy books are still popular or not, but they’re a trope I love to read (and have loved to read for a while now). I’ve really itched to write my own story, put my own spin on the subgenre and so that’s where the idea for this series came from.

The name “Emerald Hills Elite” is a mix of a few things. “Emerald Hills” was a neighborhood in the city I grew up in (Edmonds, Washington). It was the fancy place that sat up on a hill and overlooked the grey-blue waters of Puget Sound. It was also the place where at Halloween, it was rumored the residents handed out full-sized candy bars (FULL-SIZED, PEOPLE) and so everyone would pile in their cars and head there for trick-or-treating festivities.

I’ve always loved the name, so I thought it really fit for this series. In this series, the city is called “Emerald Hills” and it’s a fictional place that I image is somewhere on what we called the “eastside,” which is east of Seattle. It includes places like Bellevue and Issaquah, if you’re curious. The city itself is up in the foothills of the Cascade Mountain Range so it’s got all sorts of pine trees and rocky lake shores that get all spooky when it’s foggy and the clouds hang low with rain.

That’s the setting I envision with this book.

There’s also another city literally on the other side of the tracks called “Mulberry.” It sounds like a nice place with a name like that—wholesome and sort of 50s-ish, but it’s not. Not at all.

(Side note: The name comes from the song “Mulberry Street” by Twenty One Pilots, one of my favorites from their new album and I wanted to give it a nod in the story. The song is falsely happy sounding, but when you listen to the lyrics, there’s a much darker undertone about mental health).

In order to keep track of where everything is in relation to each other, I drew a map (and yes, my art skills are trash but you get the point).

My original dry erase board rough sketch of Emerald Hills and Mulberry.

The prettier (but still not very good) one I made in Canva.

This story was originally going to involve all sorts of weird stuff (I was going back and forth about making it PNR, but decided against it… because there was a whole fountain of youth storyline thing that was just strange. Sometimes brainstorming goes in an odd direction), but in the end, I think I’ve got all the parts that will make this awesome fleshed out.

So, there are two rival gangs, a badass heroine, four guys in her harem (we’ll meet them later), two cities on complete opposites of each other, and a school that’s creepy and has its own issues.

Now, I just have to figure out how much (if any) bullying I want to put into the story. Originally, I planned to make this a bully romance but now I’m not so sure that’s what it wants to be. Thoughts?

Twisted Little Games - Prep Work

Now that Hostile is finished and out in the wild, it’s time for me to start working on my next project. I thought it would be fun to update you as I go, giving you a behind the scenes look into my process of plotting and writing the first book in the Emerald Hills Elite series.

Up until I wrote Crossed Souls, I’d only ever wrote “traditional” male-female books, so I never gave something like a series bible a whole lot of thought. It wasn’t until I started CS that I realized keeping track of all those characters and world details was going to be too much to just wing it.

So, I created a series bible and that thing was a total godsend while I was writing, and as I’ve started looking ahead to working on Bound Souls, being able to look back at all the info has been invaluable.

Knowing EHE was going to be the same level of detailed and intense, I knew right away before I even started on the plot I was going to need a series bible for it, so I’ve been building it for months.

What even is a series bible? Well…

It’s a file I keep with all the details on the series. My Emerald Hills Elite one currently looks like this:

Every single entry on that side bar has or will have details written in it about either a particular location description, it’s purpose, the characters and all their issues, etc. It really helps me shape my characters into real people who have real issues, quirks, and the type of people they are.

Yesterday I nearly finished my series bible for Emerald Hills Elite, although I don’t know that as long as the series is ongoing it’ll ever be finished. This time around, one other difference is I’ve spent time fleshing out the side characters and the bad guys so I have an idea of what makes them tick. Usually, I just make them very one-dimensional and toss them in the story and call it good.

I’m always, always, always trying to be better and this is one of the ways I think I’m growing as a writer.

Once I have the series bible done, I’ll work on the actual plot (though I’ve done a lot of this work already). I’ve got a rough outline. I know where the book starts and where it ends (it’ll be a cliff, sorry!) but the stuff in the middle is where I’m hung up at the moment. I’m hoping to tackle it either today or tomorrow.

Once the plot work is done and I have everything in line, it’ll be time to start writing. I’ll update again when things are done and just before I start so you can keep up with my progress in bringing this book to life.

I can’t wait to get started!

Hostile is Live!

Today for me is extra fun because two is my lucky number, so what better day for Hostile to make its debut?

That’s right, Indy and Penelope’s story is LIVE! Have you downloaded your copy yet?

If not, you can grab it here.

This book seriously tested me. When I was two thirds of the way through it, I decided it was missing something. See, every book I’ve written since Finding Zen/Fallen Star, I’ve gotten further and further away from writing what I wanted to write (or the stories I wanted to tell) and more in my head about writing things people will like.

Of course, ideally those two things would overlap and I’d write the stories that excite me and also people would enjoy reading them. But, it was when I was essentially having a breakdown over this book my husband said something so simple yet so profound.

“Stop writing what you think people want and write what makes you happy.”

Damn. The man’s a genius sometimes, I swear.

Anyway, for some reason that had never occurred to me. So it was at that point I postponed the release of Hostile and reworked the entire story. I did massive edits and rewrites on the first 2/3, cut SIX chapters from the end (which wtf was I doing? This beast did not need six additional chapters. It’s already over 100k as it is), and made Indy the kind of hero I love to read.

After that, the story practically wrote itself.

So, if you haven’t downloaded yet and you’re still on the fence about reading it, keep reading for a sneak peek of Hostile:

Penelope

“What made you change your mind?” He reaches over to the hedge wall closest to where he sits and plucks off one of the white blossoms, handing it to me.

I take it and tuck it behind my ear before biting my lip. It’s unexpectedly sweet, him giving me this flower as all his attention settles on me expectantly.

I don’t know if I want to confess everything to him, but there’s something sort of magical in the air right now. It feels like we’ve been transported to another place in another time where there’s nothing but him and me. It feels safe to confess my deepest buried hopes and wants, but there’s still the fear that he’ll reject me. Maybe he’ll laugh or tell me again how he’s not the kind of guy who does serious.

Still…

If I don’t take a chance, I’ll never know.

“I don’t like not talking to you.” I pluck at a nonexistent piece of lint on my dress, but eventually gather my courage to look up at him.

He blinks at me as his lips turn down into a frown and his eyebrows pull together like he doesn’t understand what I said. Maybe he can’t believe I actually admitted it.

My heart picks up speed as I decide I’m going to go for it. I’m going to ask for what I want to know. “Why did you run away?”

His expression shutters and he turns away, clenching his jaw. “We should get back.”

“You’re never going to tell me, are you?” Like I said, I knew this would be the result, but I had to try. It doesn’t stop the twisting in my chest or the blurring of my eyes as tears gather. The last thing I want is to let Indy see me cry again—especially not when he’s the reason I’m upset.

“No.” One syllable, so final in its utterance I swear it echoes through the stillness of the night like a death knell.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I say, jumping to my feet. “I want you off my security team. Now,” I tell him before lunging for the opening to get out. Suddenly the space is too small. His cologne is everywhere, his body heat warms my side, and I need to get away with a desperation that surprises me.

Indy has other plans, though, and when I rush for the exit, he grabs me around the waist and hauls me into his lap. I scream and try to throw myself off, pounding my fists against his chest and struggling but his strong arms are locked tight around me. It’s a waste of energy to keep struggling, but rage courses through every atom of my body as hot tears slide down my face.

“Stop struggling, Duchess.”

“Let me go,” I growl, digging my nails into his forearms. I don’t even stop to admire how sexy they are, which is a testament to how hurt and angry I am.

“No.”

I huff out a breath that blows my hair away from where it’s tangled in front of my face. “Is that your new favorite word?”

I’m so damn annoyed with him. He won’t talk to me, but he won’t let me go. I guess I should be grateful he made me angry because my tears have dried up.

“No,” he says and his lips twitch. Asshole.

Keep reading: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B098BPGNMJ

Character Flaws

When I start brainstorming a series, that can look different every time. For Crossed Souls, it started with the characters—Willa specifically. I saw her initially as a sort of cupid-like character who was destined to help people find love while also being a person who couldn’t find it herself. She’d never known what being in love felt like, and was a really lonely person.

So many of the reverse harems I read involve a female main character who’s badass almost right from the beginning. That’s not who Willa is, though. She’s just not. She’s been beaten down by life, and instead of rising to the occasion, she’s been defeated and is sort of just trying to get through her days and appreciate the things she does have and the people who are in her life.

Unfortunately, this means that sometimes life just happens to her. She doesn’t know how to handle it when life throws her a massive curveball she didn’t expect. Because she’s naïve and been sheltered her whole life, she doesn’t always make great decisions. In the first book of the Twisted Soul Magic series, this means that sometimes she’s a pushover. She lets her guys make decisions and goes along with them because she’s just trying to learn how this new world works before she jumps in.

She’s cautious and inadvertently reckless at the same time because she doesn’t have all the information. She’s doing her best, but sometimes her best is frustrating because she doesn’t seem to get it.

Trust me when I say this is all part of the plan. Yes, I’ve got a plan for Willa and how she’s going to grow throughout the series. She won’t always be the clueless and frustrating heroine she is in book one. If she were, that would make for a shitty series, right? But… if she doesn’t start somewhere low, how can she have the journey that will make you root for her to have happiness and everything perfect by the end of the series?

You’d get just as bored if she was a badass from the beginning and stayed a badass throughout. So, while I know book one might’ve been frustrating, I promise things will get much, much better as the series goes on.

Ruined Rockstars: Paperback Edition

Exciting news! The entire Ruined Rockstars series is now available on paperback!

It’s taken me nearly a year to get my shit together and make this happen because it was important to me that the paperbacks not just be your standard interiors. I wanted them to be unique and feel special. I’m the kind of reader who only collects my most favorite books on paperback, and when I do, I want them to look just as pretty inside as they do outside.

For me, that meant learning an entirely new design and formatting program in between writing books this year (and changing the covers a thousand times, too). I finally buckled down a couple of weeks ago and really dove into learning InDesign and getting these books formatted.

Then, I had to create the covers and upload everything to Amazon (and wait for them to review and approve each and every title). As of a couple of days ago, every book in that series, as well as Captive and Chased, are available in paperback for the first time ever.

Crossed Souls has been submitted as well but is still waiting to be approved, but that should happen in the next day or two, so keep your eyes peeled for that. Scroll down for a sneak peek of some interior details from Vicious Icon:

Vicious Icon interior spread

Vicious Icon interior spread

You can check out the entire collection here:

Fallen Star

Dirty Legend

Broken Player

Vicious Icon

Tainted Idol

Wicked God

Deviant Rockers

Meet the Harem: Crossed Souls

I’ve been a big fan of reading reverse harem for a while now. At this point, it makes up about 98% of what I read in my free time, so because it’s my favorite, I wanted to try my hand at writing a series. I’ve had a lot of ideas about what my first RH series should be, but Twisted Soul Magic wouldn’t leave me alone, so it’s first up (and for the record I have about five other series’ in the works for the future that I can’t wait to get to).

In Crossed Souls (book one), we meet Willa’s harem. She may or may not collect another guy or two along the way, but for now, we’re going to focus on these four.

Ever — He’s our leader. He’s also the resident Healer and he’s not one to rush into a situation without considering all angles first. Ever is the guy who keeps the group together, who keeps a level head where some of the others don’t, and who keeps everyone safe and cared for. He also has a secret that he’s ashamed of and isn’t sure how to handle when it comes to revealing himself to Willa.

Crew — With a sense of humor, he’s both the light and the dark. Crew is funny and quirky, but his powers are the epitome of dark, which makes for an interesting dynamic. His powers are also legendary and almost as rare as Willa’s, so they have that in common. One of his favorite pastimes is scaring the ever loving fuck out of the people around him, so he keeps everyone on their toes.

Hiro — Ever, Crew and Hiro are like brothers, but where the other two are more outgoing and lighter in their approaches, Hiro is suspicious, intense, and an asshole at times. He’s a skilled fighter, but his past will never make it easy for him to let new people into his life. He’s a glass half empty kind of guy, and makes no secret about wanting to stay out of anything that doesn’t fit into his version of a normal life.

Knox — He’s the outsider. He isn’t a part of Ever, Crew, and Hiro’s group, and he’s Willa’s professional rival. Knox has a power that’s so shunned by the magical community, he hides who he is to avoid being completely driven out of town. Knox has spent his entire life alone, and has long ago given up hope that he’d find people who accept who and what he is.

The guys of Twisted Soul Magic are complex, both strong and soft in different ways, but every single one of them is necessary to support Willa in figuring out her powers and how to keep them out of the hands of the sinister shadow presence who’s determined to take them for their own.

So, any guesses what the guys’ powers are?

Leave a comment and let me know!

Introducing: Ruined Rockstars

Way back when when I started writing the Shadow Phoenix series (with Finding Zen), I had no idea about series planning or how I wanted my author brand to look and feel. I knew a bit about marketing and branding from the business I ran before I became an author, but this whole author gig was totally new to me.

So, I didn’t really go into writing Zen with what I now like to call a series plan. I knew I wanted to write all the members of the band, so right off I knew his book would be the first in a series, but from there it was really up in the air. I let the creative flow take me where it wanted to.

On the plus side, I wrote 6 books and a novella and love how the series turned out, but on the negative side of things, the series never felt right. The names were off (they came across in my mind a lot more like sweet romance than the darker, steamier way the series ended up going), and the covers never sat right with me. I couldn’t get them to look how I wanted no matter how many different versions I made (and hired designers to make).

The more books I write (and future series I plan), the more I realize where my brand is going and what kinds of stories I like to write and how I want everything to come together. As it was, the Shadow Phoenix series wasn’t going to fit in. See, the thing about writing a book is that’s only one part of selling it. You have to write a decent book, but you also have to make people want to read it by having an awesome cover and also making it simple for someone to look at it and in half a second know what they’re going to get out of the story.

Everyone judges a book by its cover.

So, I’ve spent the last several weeks behind the scenes playing around with names that fit the trope and genre better, re-writing blurbs (and I’ve only just begun this intensive process), and redesigning the covers until I finally hit on something that encompassed the way I really wanted the series to look and feel.

My favorite stories to write are the ones with broken heroes, strong and driven heroines, and all sorts of dark, twisty, steamy fun, so that’s what you can expect from me going forward—whether it’s contemporary MF, paranormal RH, or something in between.

Check out the new titles and covers HERE.

Happy Birthday, Montana!

It’s our favorite feisty redhead’s birthday today, and in honor of that (and submitting the final manuscript of Chased!) I wanted to gift you a sneak peek of her story. Keep reading for an Indy x Montana scene…

Montana

"What are we watching, Red?" Indy asks, plopping down on the couch beside me. His arms are loaded down with snacks, and he drops them onto the coffee table. Whenever Ronin's out, Indy's become my movie buddy. This is our new routine, and I kinda love it. He's like my favorite girlfriend, except he has a penis and a male perspective if I ever need or want advice.

Sometimes he even gives his opinion without me asking, and it's times like that—even if I don't want to admit it—that I usually need to hear it most.

"Lost Boys or Karate Kid," I gesture at the screen, giving him the final choice.

"Eighties tonight? Love it. Daniel-san is going to have to wait because the grandpa in Lost Boys is my hero. That guy is a fucking legend. Cue it up."

Laughing, I start the movie and then look over his snack choices. Nothing seems particularly appealing until he pulls a package out of his pocket. He's got so much junk food spread out in front of us, I'm not sure how he managed to carry it all in one trip.

"Are those gummy worms?" I ask, leaning forward to snag the bag he just tossed on the table.

"Hell, yes, and not the ones with that sour crap all over them. These are the real deal." 

I tear into the bag, and Indy reaches in and plucks one out for himself. I snatch the bag away before he can take more, fully prepared to bite his hand if he tries. These are mine, and he's going to have to fight me for them if he wants them. My mouth is watering when I finally bite the head off of a green one. The burst of lime sweetness on my tongue is everything I've ever wanted until I chew some more, and it feels like something's missing.

Frowning, I forget about the movie for a minute and study the offerings before me. I lean forward and shove away a bag of tortilla chips to find a jar of queso underneath. It's the grocery store shit, the artificial and processed trash that's way more orange than it probably should be, but something about it keeps you coming back for more. 

Truthfully, I think that something is typically called alcohol or weed—you know, those nights where you go out and get drunk or smoke a joint and have the munchies? This is the perfect fake cheese for those situations.

Indy is fully invested in the movie, throwing a handful of popcorn at the screen when the mom asks for a job at the video store, but I'm focused on opening the damn jar. When the lid finally pops off, Indy notices and tosses me the chips, which I lift with my foot and kick away. "Keep your fucking chips on your side."

He raises his eyebrow and laughs. "What the hell are you planning to eat your queso with if you don't want chips?" Indy surveys the collection of snacks and then grabs a bag of pretzels and holds them up. I shake my head, and he grins. "Challenge accepted."

Then he really starts to dig, holding up everything from cookies to the bowl of popcorn propped between his legs. 

"Actually, I think I'll try this." I snag a gummy worm—strawberry this time—out of the package and dunk it into the jar of cheese until the tips of my fingers touch the room-temperature surface. If I thought my mouth was watering before, now it's a damn fountain as I hungrily eye the concoction I made. Indy's watching me with an expression filled with more horror than he had when he was paying attention to the movie.

"You're not going to actually eat that shit, are you?" He looks a little green, but I don't know what the problem is. I bet it'll taste amazing, and I'm proven right when I tilt my head back and drop the entire cheese-covered worm into my mouth, letting the salty-sweet combination paint my tongue in a kaleidoscope of flavor. It's creamy and kind of spicy, too. 

I moan and hurriedly reach in for another worm. Now that my snacks are sorted out, I'm happy to pay attention to the movie again, so I lean against the cushions and pull a throw blanket over my lap, careful to lift my snacks out of the way. Indy scoots closer and takes the other half of the blanket, so our shoulders are touching.

"You know that's disgusting, right?" He says, nodding toward my snacks, but I grumble and tell him to fuck off. It's not my fault he has shitty taste in sustenance, and I tell him as much.

Later, when the movie's over, and I've fallen asleep with my head leaning against Indy's shoulder, I wake up with cheese spilled in my lap, and I can't regret a single thing.

You can pre-order Chased here.

A Harsh Reality

Writing isn’t easy.

There, I said it.

But really, it’s hard. I don’t know in which ways you might think it’s difficult to write a book—maybe you think getting 100,000 words down is the hardest part, or maybe it’s putting yourself out there for people to judge something you spent months creating.

The reality is it’s all hard. Every single bit.

From plotting your story (and, really, there are a massive amount of books to help with this, but a lot of them offer conflicting bits of advice or information), to writing it and running up against your deadline and being behind, so you put your entire life on hold to try and get there but then realize you’re not loving the story and need to re-work it.

Up until now, the books have come fairly easily to me. I read a bunch of craft books on things like how to show and not tell (meaning you don’t say, “he’s embarrassed,” but instead you say “his cheeks turned pink and he looked away”) and how to craft better dialogue, but in my scattered brain, they all sort of jumble together and then I have a hard time grasping the concepts or remembering how to apply them.

So, mostly I rely on whatever comes naturally to me. I know I don’t like my couples to have misunderstandings, and I also know that once they’re together, I typically like them to stay together without anything internal ripping them apart. However, I don’t know that this is the most effective approach I could use to tell my stories.

There’s something to be said for sticking to the “beats” Gwen Hayes refers to in her book Romancing the Beat. The problem is I feel like if I do the things that most “experts” say create books people love to read, I’ll be stuck with stories I don’t love to write.

I try to avoid reading reviews because they kill my creative flow, but I did read one today on Goodreads for Playing Jericho. It was a 2-star review, and honestly, I felt like her comments were fair. My character development can always be better, but I haven’t figured out how to do better yet. Does that make sense?

I learn something new with every book I write, and I have no intention to quit writing, but sometimes I wish I could take a little hiatus and learn more about what the hell I’m doing, you know? Because I want to write stories that people love—the kind they can’t wait to recommend to a friend or a reader group. I don’t know that I’m there yet.

Then again, I am my own worst critic, so maybe I’m just holding myself to impossible standards. The truth is, I don’t think I am. I think I can do better, be better, and craft better stories with characters you love and want more of.

So, there it is. The thoughts running through my mind at this very moment: raw, real, and unfiltered. I didn’t edit this, I didn’t try to make it perfect, but I wanted you to see what it’s like to truly live and breathe your craft. It’s been a bit of a hard day writing Chased, and now I’m sitting here, in my dark writing cave wondering if it’s even any good at all or if I should scrap the whole thing and start fresh.

But, tomorrow’s a new day, editing’s a really amazing thing, and what’s important is that I just keep writing. After all, the only way to get better is to continue to practice.

Progress Update

I thought it’d be fun to update you along the journey of writing my current books. So, what am I actively writing?

Chased:

I’m currently writing chapter four of Chased. It’s a Ronin POV chapter. When I wrote Captive, the chapters ran roughly 4,000 words each. So far, this book’s chapters are even longer at about 5,000 words each which are massive. Unfortunately for me, the harder I try to make them smaller the bigger they get, so I’m just going with the flow and letting them be whatever they need to.

I’m really excited about this book because it’s going to have even more action and be faster paced than the last one, too. I really should’ve finished chapter four yesterday, but my writing mojo wasn’t where it needed to be, so today I’ll be getting that done and moving on to Montana’s POV in chapter five.

Crossed Souls:

I’m still on chapter one for this book writing-wise. It’s from the FMC’s POV and Montana is such a dynamic character that I’m finding it hard to swap between the two of them because this FMC comes off as sort of boring in comparison.

The problem is I don’t want to make this FMC too similar to Montana and I have yet to really find the FMC’s voice. Because of that, I’ve stepped back from writing it for a couple of days to try and get a better hold on her personality. There was also a major piece of her background I was missing and didn’t realize it until I was actively writing.

Now, I’ve got all of that figured out so I feel pretty good about jumping back in and finishing the first chapter. My other issue is I hit all my plotted scene bullet points for chapter one and it’s only, like, 1700 words which is way too short to be a decent chapter, but I’m hoping with the bit of backstory I need to add in that it’ll plump it up to around 2500.

Takeaways:

I knew writing two books would be a challenge, but I really thought the tough part would be continuing to write after I hit my limit on one book. Unfortunately, I haven’t gotten to that point yet, but I’m hopeful with the character stuff I figured out this week, I’ll be able to see how it all goes.

Writing two very distinct characters is hard. I want them to be unique and distinct and switching between the two is seriously difficult. But, I always like a challenge, so I’m not going to give up. I’ll post another update next week and let you know how it’s going.

Makeover

As you may or may not know (depending on when you came across my writing), I’ve never been crazy about ANY of the versions of the Shadow Phoenix covers. None of them really screamed “ROCK STAR” at me the way I wanted, but I had no idea how to make that happen.

Well, I need to overhaul the series for paperback now that I’ve figured out InDesign and how to make the insides pretty (I’m lookin’ at you, Captive) and since I need to put in the work to re-do the insides, I figured I might as well go balls out and just have them all re-edited (to make sure any of the stuff I missed the first time around has a whole new set of eyes on them to find things like the embarrassing way I used “symbols” when I really meant “cymbals”).

But then my husband says, “Do you think we should re-cover them, too?” and I was so not thinking about the covers, but then I looked at them and got this sort of splinter in my brain like I HAVE TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL WRONG (yes, I yelled it at myself).

So… I spent an entire day re-doing the covers, and honestly they’re my favorite of all the covers so far. I liked the black background ones, but again, they just didn’t give off the vibe I wanted. This new set totally does, and I’m really happy with them. I can’t promise I won’t put new covers on them again, but considering I’m going to be going through the process of turning them all into beautifully edited and designed paperbacks, it’s not happening again for a LONG while.

Besides, I have other stuff to spend my time working on like writing Chased or Crossed Souls (and also, I have like 4 other books plotted out loosely in my mind right now, too, as part of other series’). SO, if you were wondering why the covers suddenly look different on the website or on Amazon, the reason is I needed more rock star (said in my best Christopher Walken cowbell voice).

If you haven’t seen ‘em yet, take a peek:

Old Finding Zen Cover

New Finding Zen Cover

Old Loving True Cover

New Loving True Cover

What do you think of the new covers? You can check them all out over on the books page. Leave me a comment and let me know which covers are your favorite.

Two-Timing

Well, it’s official: I’ve lost my mind.

Yup, I’m about to dive into writing two books at the same time.

I mentioned it in one of my recent blog posts, but even then I wasn’t 100% sure I was going to do it. Now, it’s official because I’ve fully plotted both stories and have the set up all finished.

I’ve talked before about how I plot my stories, but the part that comes after plotting is what I’m going to talk about today. Once I do my general plot, I dig down into the details—both of which I’ve gone into before. I do that part by hand so once that’s done, I enter it all back into my plotting program.

Finally, I go into Google Drive. This is where I store everything for writing my books. I create a Google Docs file for every chapter and then I name them and format them for my editor (this is a new development since I started with her for Captive, but she’s amazing!). So, everything’s written in Times New Roman because that’s just how I roll.

(Quick side note: I read a study once that said people who write in Comic Sans are more productive, but fuuuuck that. Comic Sans makes me want to rip my eyeballs out of my skull).

After the files are all formatted, I copy over all my scene details from my plotting program into the appropriate chapter. It looks like this when it’s all done and ready for me to write:

Once that’s done, I’m all set to write and I don’t stop until I’m done. I set myself daily goals (I’ve talked about it before, but in case you missed it, I aim to write 4,000 words a day in 500-word blocks) and I have a writing partner who keeps me accountable.

So, now that you’ve had a peek behind the curtain, I’m gonna change the subject real quick. See, I’m honestly HORRIBLE at keeping writing news to myself. I don’t want to get ahead of myself and promise books that end up not working out, but now that I’ve got everything set up and am ready to actually dive into these stories later today, I feel confident sharing just a little hint of what’s coming in that top secret project I’ve been talking about.

So, now you have a title for book one: Crossed Souls.

It’s not up for pre-order, but here’s a sneak peek of the story aesthetic and maybe a couple of plot hints.

There’s no release date or pre-order or anything yet, but do you have any guesses what the story might be about? Leave ‘em in the comments!

Chased Sneak Peek

Read on for a sneak peek of Chased.

Montana

Two months ago…

“You guys fucking smashed it,” I yell, raising up my glass of champagne, and the guys of Shadow Phoenix and their wives lift theirs to clink them together. I don’t give two fucks about this place being classy and upscale as hell. Despite being the manager for one of the biggest bands in the world for more than a goddamn decade—yes, that makes me feel old as fuck, by the way—I’m still not used to all the glitz and glamour of Hollywood.

So, I’ll rock the hell out of my sparkly green gown that hugs every curve and shows off way more leg than is decent, but even my attention-grabbing dress can’t make up for my mouth. Ah, well. I consider it one of my many positive attributes. You know, the ones you’re sure someone will love you for someday if you can just find the right person.

Who wouldn’t love a wife who tells her phone to fuck off regularly when it rings at inopportune times? Or who likes to occasionally drink her beer through a Twizzler like a straw? Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it, Judgy McJudgerson. 

My eyes flick across the room to my own personal fantasy—all six feet two of him in his black-on-black suit. I know he’s got a sleeve of tattoos underneath the pressed jacket that’s straining against his biceps. If I let my imagination run away with me, I’d guess others were hidden away in less obvious places I’d like to hunt down with my tongue.

His dark hair is swept neatly to the side, but I’ve seen him often enough to know it’s usually sticking up messy in that way that the hot as fuck guys do that makes it look like they don’t give a shit about how they look when you know it probably took them longer to get ready than you. I let my eyes drop and look my fill, not caring even a little if he catches me eye-fucking him.

Maybe if he does, I’ll get laid.

And with that thought, I give myself the mental smackdown. Not only is Ronin Desai someone I have to work with regularly, but I am so beyond the point of casual hookups it’s not even funny. Sure, there are probably cobwebs in the dark corners of my vagina at this point, but I’m determined, damn it.

I finally tear my eyes off of Ronin, disappointed his dark eyes didn’t find me across the room, and tune back into my clients. They’re so much more than that, though, and their wives are my besties. I’d be lost without them, but I’m also jealous as hell. They’re all married or on their way to that with kids of their own.

Honestly, I never thought I’d be the girl who even wanted that shit. In the past, if someone handed me a baby, I wanted to throw it across the room to get it away from me lest I catch some baby-making dust somehow. Obviously, I would never throw a baby. What am I, new?

Still, somewhere along the way, what I wanted changed. Maybe it’s that stupid biological clock bullshit you always hear about, but whatever it is, I’m done trying to deny that now when I look at my friends and their kids, my stomach twists with jealousy, and there’s this weird empty aching feeling in my chest.

Damn, now that I think about it, I should probably get that looked at just in case.

I pluck my phone out of my bra and send my assistant a text to schedule me a doctor’s appointment. Better safe than sorry or whatever. 

Once that’s done, I tuck it back inside and do a quick spin to see if anyone needs anything. Everyone appears to be occupied, and with the new Shadow Phoenix album blasting over the speakers and the chatter over top of it, my ears are at that point after a concert where they’re simultaneously buzzing and sort of feel like they’re bleeding. I figure it’s a good time to head to the bathroom.

Champagne goes right through me, so I’m practically dancing my way back to the bathroom. Even though this is technically a work function, it’s also my most favorite clients and best friends, so I say fuck doing the stuffy thing I should do and barely sip one drink. I’m well on my way to drunk. At least I’m not the only one dancing, so I don’t look like a schmuck, though I’m the only one doing a pee-pee dance on my way to the bathroom.

Hey, I never said I was classy.

After I do my business and shimmy my dress back into place—seriously, who makes floor-length formal gowns without some sort of plan for when a girl has to pee?—I decide to check my lipstick in the mirror. 

Okay, so tonight, I might’ve gone all out knowing that Connor and his security guys would be here as guests instead of security for once. Ronin’s been my secret crush for way too long. While I’m not usually one of those girls who’s shy, I’m also not exactly excited to do my own version of the walk of shame every time I see him. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to make a lasting impression and maybe leave him wanting more. A girl can plot and plan, right?

Sure enough, my lipstick looks like I just finished blowing the entire Seattle Coyotes football team. Like, how the fuck does that even happen? I was just drinking my champagne, and yet there’s red smeared all over the place. Jesus.

I grab a paper towel—no wait, that’s cloth, fancy bathroom-having motherfuckers—and wipe off the mess, grabbing my lipstick out of my bra to reapply. 

Yes, my bra is basically the female equivalent of a tool belt, but since my dress doesn’t have pockets, I resort to this bullshit whenever I’m forced to forgo my usual badass boss bitch wear and class it up.

The door creaks open, but I don’t bother looking at whoever’s just coming into the bathroom. That’s not exactly a comfortable thing when you need to pee, and every chick in the place turns to look at you squeezing your legs together and hurrying toward the stall. 

My lips are sufficiently painted in red again, and I grin, checking my teeth for rogue lipstick. Once I’m sure I don’t look like a clown, I pop the lid on and slip it back into the side of my bra, wiggling the girls a bit to make sure everything’s even in there and my cleavage is on point. 

A statuesque brunette saunters up beside me in that way that screams old money—you know, like she’s actually floating across the ground rather than daring to step foot down onto the floor like some fucking peasant—and looks down her nose at me, sneering like she’s smelled something bad.

Though, maybe that’s just her face. Her admittedly stunningly gorgeous face. 

Bitch.

“Can I help you with something?” I ask in my sweetest voice that’s also super snotty. I really hope it’s coming through how much I want to tell her to go ram her vibrator up her desert-dry cooch and relax. Hopefully, it’s the kind that has the rabbit ears because I’m not a heathen and even bitchy girls deserve clit stimulation sometimes.

“Yeah, you can stop staring at my date.” Her voice is nice and icy, and I almost want to high-five her for how well she’s pulling off this whole Cruella de Ville vibe right now. 

I make a whole show of looking around the entire bathroom, noting we’re the only two in here. “Did you happen to take yourself to this little soiree or…?”

She rolls her eyes like I’m dense, and I’m seriously tempted to kick her shin with my Louboutin’s. That four-inch heel is quite the weapon when pissed off enough to wield it. “I came here with Ronin. I saw you practically undressing him with your eyes.”

Oh, honey. If she only knew I was also imagining using my tongue to explore all the uncharted territory of his muscular physique, her head might actually fly off her body. 

“Yeah, and?” I tap my fingernails on the marble counter beyond over this conversation. 

She grits her teeth, the perfect pearly white expanse of them showing too much, so her smile comes off just a touch psychotic. Really, it fits her perfectly. “Considering he’s my boyfriend, I’m going to go ahead and say he’s not interested. Stay away.”

Without giving me a chance to claw her eyes out or anything, she spins, and I curse as I have to duck out of the way of her epic hair flip as she exits the room. I’m not going to acknowledge the way my stomach dropped at her words or the way I want to punch the wall or, you know, her stupid face.

Nope. I’m not going to admit that shit is disappointing, even though I’m definitely not looking for a hookup and also definitely not trying to get underneath—or on top of—a guy I have to regularly see at work. Doesn’t matter that he’s perfect and sinfully hot, the kind that has me drenched and panting the second I’m in his presence. 

Does. Not. Matter.

Because it’s gotta be easy to find more than one of those, right? They say there’s one person out there for everyone, but who’s they that they get to be in charge of something like that? Whoever they are, fuck them, and I refuse to buy into that because if it’s true…

What am I supposed to do now?

Top Secret Project

So… I have a project I’m absolutely DYING to write. BUT, I’m one of those people who will start a million things and never finish a single one if I don’t force myself to do it. It’s why I only write one book at a time (and one series at a time).

Now that the Hollywood Guardians series is underway (and there are seven books planned in total), I feel a little bit more comfortable branching out into a passion project of mine.

I’m also one of those kinds of people who constantly bite off more than they can chew.

My plan for writing Chased is to write 3,000-4,000 words a day and then spend only about 1,000 words a day working on the top secret project. It’s a tall order, but I think I can do it.

Why am I telling you this? Well, I’m hoping saying it out loud will help keep me accountable to actually get it done on the days I don’t feel like writing or the inspiration just isn’t there.

And why am I not just telling you what this brand new book/series is?

Well, I think it’s more fun this way. I can, however, give you a couple little nuggets of info to tide you over until I’m ready to announce more about it.

1. The series is going to be paranormal.

2. It’ll (hopefully) have five books.

3. The books will follow one set of characters throughout all books and the first four will end in cliffhangers.

4. It will be a reverse harem (my first and I’m balls out terrified to write it, but hey, that’s what makes us feel alive, right? Doing the shit that scares us?).

5. I’m not going to release book one until book two is already written (and potentially book three as well) because as a reader I HATE waiting for the next book to come out after a cliffhanger and having to wait more than a month just feels mean. I’m not going to do that to you guys.

There you have it! Any guesses on what it’ll be about? Leave me a comment and let me know!

Plotting... to Take Over the World?

…cue maniacal laughter.

I’ve probably talked about it before, but there are two types of writers (and potentially more in the form of hybrids of the two types but we’ll ignore them for now): Plotters and Pantsers.

Now, “Pantsers” are the type of people who fly by the seat of their pants. Get it? Ha. Ha.

Anyway, they don’t plot. They just sit down and write and basically magic comes out (if it works like it’s supposed to).

While I’m pretty scattered and disorganized in every other aspect of my life, I can’t stand being that way when it comes to my writing. I have to plot until there’s nothing left to do but write or I feel like I’m going to go crazy.

Or sit in a corner and cry… not that that’s ever happened or anything.

Ahem.

So, with every book in the Shadow Phoenix series, I did my plotting a little bit differently trying to figure out what worked best for me and what level of planning I actually needed to do in order to pull off the story.

As it turns out, I didn’t find the answer until I wrote “Captive,” and the answer is I need to plot EVERYTHING.

Every. Damn. Thing.

But it worked so well, that when I slacked off on my writing for Captive after telling myself I got off to a fast start and could take a few weeks off there in the middle, I was able to write, like, sixty thousand words in two weeks because of my plotting skillz.

Now that I’m about to dive into Chased, I’m not even trying to change up my plotting style at all (which is a relief to not have to think about what needs tweaking), and as of yesterday, the first step of the full plot is done. Behold:

This is a glimpse into what my plotting looks like for the book. (For those of you who also write, I use Plottr in dark mode because dark mode is liiiife). I separate the characters by color, and then I use one keyword to describe whatever scene is going to happen. I always aim for 4 scenes per chapter, but as I write, if a scene runs long I occasionally have to cut a future one down the line or expand it out into a whole new chapter.

Thankfully, that only happened twice during Captive and I was able to just cut the scenes rather than expand. Once I’m done with the keywords and a few minor details to describe each scene, I print it out and go through it scene by scene adding as much detail as I possibly can so that when I write, I can transfer over the scene notes and go from there.

It may sound complicated, but ideally it takes me less than a week (Captive took me three solid days) to do all the prep work on a book and then I can dive in and start writing. I’m really excited to give you Chased, and now that this step is finished, I can move on to the final plotting (details!) and then get writing. Let me tell you, this book is going to get your heart racing in more ways than one and I can’t wait to get started.